Choosing You: Letting Go of People Who No Longer Serve a Greater Purpose in Your Life

I recently dealt with some hard blows from someone who I considered both a friend as well as a romantic partner. Without explaining all the gory detail, all of the drama and pain I experienced either by his rejection, his advances, or his eventual spiral into toxic coping mechanisms brought me to an important and difficult lesson I desperately needed to learn:

Being compassionate without blurring my boundaries, and when it was time to actually let go.

When we go ‘woo-woo’ or begin a spiritual practice, we can’t continue hanging out with the same people we did be fore. Such as when an addict enters and receives treatment, they cannot keep friends from their previous life, thus many former friends will not remain the same, and much of one’s outside perspective will change as you dive deeper into your unique spiritual relationship.

Though we truly want to see the light in all people (and often do), this can sometimes hinder our ability to create boundaries, which lead us to be too forgiving and too compassionate.

This morning, I had this sudden epiphany in a meditation. I had start off by asking the Universe to show me how to get past a particular mental obstacle in my writing, when I suddenly was filled with a burst of self-reflective guidance.

Spirit reminded me of my truest nature: to see all things with love, to be compassionate, and to be forgiving. I became wrought with sadness and heartbreak for it made me realize how I allowed my trusting and forgiving nature to be taken advantage of in several past relationships, even in the current relationship I held with my aforementioned friend. As forgiving as I was to others, the Universe reminded me to

  1. Be forgiving with myself, first and foremost

  2. To refuse to be treated with anything less than the utmost respect, dignity, and love.

  3. Although someone may be genuine, that doesn’t mean I should allow myself to continue patiently idling while that person chooses to wreck their life.

I continued and finished my meditation, and went to explain these revelations to a girlfriend, when I suddenly burst into tears. All the pieces of this person’s pain that I had hoped and prayed for, their past treatment of me, plus their current treatment of me, plus all of my own pain that circulated around this situation, could no longer be held in.

I had a good cry, and continued explaining my revelation to my girlfriend.

I knew at that moment that I couldn’t continue in this story, that my friend needed to be in his, and I needed to be in mine. Regardless of feelings or no, I knew that I could not serve a purpose in his life except to play on his neediness, and that he would simply continue to take advantage of my ability to trust and my ability to forgive. So I said goodbye.